Five Things To Leave Behind In 2019

New decade, who dis?! As we enter a new year AND a new decade, I’ve been thinking a lot about the biggest things I’ve learnt in the last year. I’m a big believer in the saying that to move forward, we have to look back. 

  • Comparing yourself or your journey to others – To quote that famous Theodore Roosevelt quote, “Comparison is the thief of joy”. Comparing yourself, your life, or your journey to that of other people is a surefire way to unhappiness. There’s no point in comparing yourself to them. They are not on the same journey as you. There are so many other things to focus on instead like your goals and your plan to get there or what can you add to your daily life that would make you happy. 
  • Giving a damn what other people think of you – As long as you’re not hurting anyone, who gives a damn what other people think of you? We cannot let others opinions or perceptions of us stop us from living our lives. So leave that all behind in 2019. Wear the clothes you want to wear without the fear of getting judged. Take up that hobby that you are really passionate about but might not necessarily be seen as ‘cool’. 
  • Negative self-talk – Seriously. Cut. It. Out! I had a moment towards the end of 2019 when I realised just how self-critical I was and how much I put myself down in my head. Sound familiar? Yeah, it happens to the best of us. Which is why we need to be more mindful of how we speak to ourselves. We need to cut ourselves more slack and remind ourselves that we are doing our best. I heard the saying that we should speak to ourselves like we speak to our best friends and I think it’s time we put that into practice! 
  • Wasting time – whether that’s wasting time mindlessly scrolling on social media and looking at what everyone else is up to (which brings us back to my first point exactly), wasting time in a career/relationship/situation that does not make us happy – you know what I mean. The kind where you know in your heart that you’re unhappy about it but you’re scared to make a change/admit it because of the fear of the unknown. Well, this 2020 I hope we finally realise that there is no longer time to waste. How many times have we heard the saying ‘life is short’? Well, it is, so be more mindful of where your time and energy goes and make sure that it’s going where you want it to go. 
  • Not asking for what you want – There are so many things in life we are afraid to ask for. It could be big things like asking your boss for a raise when you know your skills and expertise should be valued more or asking the boy you’ve been kind of dating if he’s into you or not. It could also be the little things like asking the barista if they could make your drink again because you asked for a different order than the one they gave you. The point is, sometimes we’re too afraid to ask for what we want. This could be due to a number of things like our inherent fear of rejection (What if I ask and they say no?), not wanting to be seen as ‘fussy’ or pedantic (What if I ask for what I want and they label me as high maintenance?), or even not wanting to disturb or disrupt (The café seems busy, maybe I won’t ask for the right order after all, even if I paid more for my drink and I really wanted to drink that particular coffee). The point is, there’s so much value in learning to ask for what we want. Besides, if you don’t ask, the answer will always be no. 

What other things, traits, or thinking are you leaving behind in 2019?